8.06.2008

(SEMI) ANNUAL PURR-FORMANCE APPRAISAL

Good Morning
(originally posted January 2008)

If I may reintroduce myself to you, my name is Maggy, and I am the CEO (Cat Executive Officer) of Zoolatry, Inc. and my companion is Zoey, COO (Cat Operating Officer). We have been at the helm of Zoolatry since July of 2007 and it came to our attention that it is time for the annual performance review of the Zoolatry Human who serves as our typist, our artist, our imagination and sometimes cleans our litter boxes. Her review will determine any pay grade increase, possible future promotions, and/or continuations of her benefits package. It should be duly noted that the benefits package is quite extraordinary in these times of economic distress. The Z.H. receives frequent praise and purrs from her snoopervisors, she is also often the recipient of nose tap awards and tail swishes. These benefits are not to be taken lightly, as they are not bestowed upon every employee of the company. The fact that her pay grade is mere pennies should not distract her from performing at her highest level.

QUANTITY OF OUTPUT: Rating: High

The Z.H. has posted 1,200 photoart pieces to our site. An acceptable number.

QUALITY OF OUTPUT: Rating: High

It should be noted that this rating is by the COO, Zoey, who happens to like all her silly pictures no matter what they look like.

QUALITY OF OUTPUT: Rating, Low.

This rating is given by Maggy, CEO, who finds most of her pictures unflattering, embarassing and far far more fictional-than-factual.

CLIENT PARTICIPATION: Rating: Medium

It has been recorded that initial comments averaged 1-3 per posting and they have now moved into the range of 9-10 per posting. We do strongly encourage more effort on the part of the Z.H. to increase this to higher levels prior to her next review.

CLIENT SATISFACTION: Rating: Medium-to-High

The Z.H. has received high remarks from some clients for whom we have created photoart. Yet management believes she can work more diligently to serve even greater numbers of the cat kingdom and bring additional clients to the company. Although it may be that she devotes perhaps 8-10-hours per day to our photoart creation, we would be remiss were we not to remind her that there are 24-hours in the day that could be allocated to the Wonderful Cats World.

OVERALL RECOMMENDATION: Rating: Medium

The employee may be retained by the company at this time, and should not be among those considered for layoff. However, the Z.H. we believe, has a ways to go to meet the high standards of the Zoolatry organization, and as such for this performance review period, we do not recommend a pay grade increase. We further recommend the Z.H. give up any vacation or personal time to which she may think
she is entitled -- and continue to serve our needs and wants at all times.


POSTSCRIPT, AUGUST 6, 2008


This purr-formance appraisal was initially done in January 2008. At this time, the CEO and COO of Zoolatry felt a new review was warranted. The Zoolatry Human has indicated to staff and co-workers that the current computer problems at her station are a direct result of "cats walking on keyboards" and have occurred through no fault of hers. Such blatant disrespect for management is highly inappropriate. Further, gossip and innuendo among staff and co-workers is cause for dismissal. At this time, the board of directors has agreed to put the Zoolatry Human on probation for an unspecified amount of time. Providing she can correct all her computer problems and restore integrity and calm to her workplace, it has been further agreed, she will not be dismissed.


21 comments:

  1. Well we will say that her performance is excellent and we love what she does! I am glad she is not going to be fired!

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  2. Maggy and Zoe please please reconsider some of your ratings. We have just started coming here, but if you were to compare your employee's work to ours you would understand how wonderfully extraordinary your employee is. Ours can't even do one graphic. She bought the program and even bought a book that's suppose to educate her, but no, nothing, zilch. Please reevaluate soon or you may find your prize employee working for another company where she is appreciated.

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  3. "OVERALL RECOMMENDATION: Rating: Medium"

    HA! And again - HA!

    Medium my @## says my mom. :) But she says it with a smile.

    I have my ears back at her sitting here and saying HA! out loud several times.

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  4. This is ME Trixie, you know, the non fat tuxedo cat. You know, the one who isn't scared of anything. You know. The one who isn't fat.

    What? Oh, oh. What? Oh Pyewacket (who I don't like) said I had to talk about your mom. Well, she's really really good and deserves to be called the world's best Photoshopper. I hear her called that when our mom is on the phone to her mom.

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  5. G'day.

    Tigger here. Look, you guys need to redo that evaluation. It needs to to jolly well glow, right?

    You are on a good thing there guys. I'm telling ya, you're jolly lucky floofy cats.

    Jolly lucky I say!

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  6. Er, hello. This is the mom. You cats ought to relook at that evaluation, especially the bit about the comments.

    Gees Louise girls, she does a jolly good job (bit of Tigger vocabulary there) and gets a lot more comments than some other blogs.

    She is doing you a big favor by blogging about you two.

    Be sweet!

    If you can't be sweet, then take a lot of sugar in your coffee like I do. :)

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  7. We LOVE your blog!!!!!

    - from everyone who lives at the topcatrules house and also from the students of Ms S, who get to read it daily when school is in, which it isn't.

    We think your human is a saint!

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  8. P.S. I'm done now and mom is going to read her Harry Potter book if she can get her arm out from under the non fat huge tuxedo cat.

    Love from Pyewacket. It took me four goes to spell my name right cause of Trixie on mom's right arm and cause it is nearly ten o'clok at night.

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  9. Overall - medium????
    Maggy and Zoey we fink yoo haf to go back and do your review again. We fink it is excellent and worth at least extra purrs everyday, and hopefully you could find your way clear for a few extra nose taps.

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  10. We rate her excellent plus!

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  11. We give your ZH a AAAAAAAAA++++++ Rating! Her work is wonderful! She makes you girls look so beautiful in her pictures and she does such fantastic work for all of us, too! You wouldn't want her to go to work for someone else, now would you?
    Your FL furiends,

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  12. My Bean think the Z.H. is great because she does all these graphics work. While my Bean knows how to use Photoshop, she seems to have a distinct aversion to doing any type of graphical work with it.

    However, I think Z.H. offers too many excuses for not posting on a regular basis.

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  13. Heh Heh, I enjoyed reading the review although I do think the ZH got gypped on some quality points, particularly pictures. But I needed a good giggle today and I can just imagine what kind of rating the gang would give me! :) Thanks for all the good thoughts & prayers & suggestion for #14. I even have a 15: will things ever get back to normal? And 16: what is normal? :D

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  14. This is far too tough! I would rate the Z.H. 10.5 out of 10.

    Your kitties just don't know how good you have it! Just spend some time with my SS and you would get your floffy tails right back to where you are.

    PS to the Z.H. - if those tough ungrateful kitties don't revise UP ++++ those ratings I have a place for you. Rest assured that you will be appreciated at my establishment.

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  15. Thank you for stopping by to see my new little brother Jake.
    Please stop back again soon.

    Hugs~Chancy

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  16. Hi there! Always nice to meet a Hoosier...

    HUGS~Chancy

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  17. Maggy, are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw Mom bean clean our litter boxes??? uh-Duh! Change that rating to "F" please.

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  18. Maggy and Zoey, this is serious talk, you have to be thankful for what you have. Your mom is super-duper and the bestest! So, up those ratings before I entice your mom to migrate or do an exchange. You'd be REALLY sorry to get SS who doesn't rate at all (anything lower than Z?)

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  19. Dear Maggy & Zoey,

    While we are well aware that Cat Standards are quite high, we do believe you may have been a bit harsh on the ZH. She works her keyboard to the bone, not to mention the creativity portion of her brain. Case in point, our Mom can't do any of that stuff!

    Purrhaps you should reconsider her overall rating?

    Yours very truly,

    Gandalf & Grayson

    President & Vice President
    Daily G's, Inc.

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  20. Your mom must have a re-evaluation of her most recent evaluation! It's okay to have high standards, but one must look at the outcomes of the work tha has been done and your mom's work fully surpasses that. I think I know two little kitties that may be trying to get back at mom for the little family that has been staying around! Better watch it - you have it great now!

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  21. We think that Z.H. needs a much better review. She is pawsome at her job and has many, many satisfied customers. We hope that her probation is a furry short one.
    -Stryder, Scotchy & Sugar

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